My spouse Don and I are very committed to our date nights, which usually happen on a Friday night. We will do something like go out to dinner or spend time at our little lake house having dinner and spending the evening together while we enJOY our little fireplace and listen to music.
We look forward to these date nights immensely and we believe that they are so important for a relationship. And because we are both entrepreneurs and business-minded people, these become our business meetings too. We catch up on how things are going, what has been accomplished and what needs to be done. And trust me, we love talking about this kind of stuff. It brings us JOY!
A Week Ago Friday
So a week ago Friday, I was feeling great and pain-free and it was date night. I was so happy for one more date night! We were enJOYing our night when out of nowhere I started to get into pain and this pain escalated from 0 to 100 in an hour. It was really, really bad and it was really, really, sad.
The Sacred Moment in The Still of the Night
This brings me to the sacred and intimate moment. Don tried to help me get into bed and into a comfortable position. I sat on the edge of the bed and hung onto him. I wrapped my arms around his body and laid my cheek against his stomach and chest. He tried to put me down but I would cry out in pain something like “You have to get me up, I can’t breathe”. The pain was unbearable and would take my breath away. This went on for a while until we were indeed able to get me into bed. This was very hard for both of us and I cannot describe the feeling with words but…..
Speed Ahead to the Following Friday
Last night was once again date night and although I was in pain, it was not too bad. We had a lovely night together. The topic of last Friday night came up and how hard that was for us. Don shared about how he struggled with it and the pain that it brought him.
And Then I Shared This:
I told him that I wanted him to know that when I am gone or whenever he thinks of that night, he needs to know that for me it was one of the most beautiful, loving, supportive, and intimate moments of my life and that I will forever cherish it. It has become a beautiful moment for me. The whole vulnerability for both of us and the sacred connection of two lovers coming together in a time like this is indescribable.
We then talked about how we can indeed shift things to see them from a better place that makes us ‘feel better’ and this is what we had now done with this experience. We can choose what we take from it. This is all a part of accepting ‘what is’ and moving through it with Grace.
I hope that you too learn to shift painful moments in your life and turn them into Grace.
“Brothers are like streetlights along the road; they don’t make distance any shorter but they light up the path and make the walk worthwhile”.
Ed, John, and Wally in front of the ‘fish house’ at Wally’s son’s wedding in 2017. This was the wedding of Colton & Nicole and it was so nice for all of us to revisit the family homestead and to celebrate this JOYous occasion.
I am the baby of six children. Here is a picture of my siblings and I taken a few years back.
Brothers John, Wally, Ed, Myself, Sister Stephanie and sister Barb (the oldest)
Although we can’t be together this holiday season, I am grateful that I still have all of my siblings in my life, even if we can’t physically be together this year…. but today is about brothers……
The Role of My Brothers In My Life
Today while reflecting on this brother’s quote, I was reminded of the role that all of my brothers played in my life as a child. Oh how I looked up to them! They loved me so much and I knew it. I was their baby sister with blond hair, blue eyes and rosy cheeks.
Here is a picture of me when I was little with my sister Stephanie. It is not very good as I had to try and blow it up. Unfortunately, I lost my lifetime of pictures due to water damage which is why I always tell everyone put your pictures in a digital format so you have them always and for the next generation and the ones after that.
Anyhow, here is the picture:
Me and my sister Stephanie at the top of what we called ‘the hill’ which went down to the lake.
A lot of people say a girl’s first male relationship is being Daddy’s girl but I think because of the age gap between my parents and I (being a late life baby) and having these older siblings, my brothers were my first and they all were!
I loved and do love them all dearly!
A Trip Down Memory Lane
Wally
I remember one time my oldest brother Wally bringing me a brown pencil case with a brand new package of pencil crayons. I can see them as clear as day right now and it was a moment I will never forget. I think I still cherish those pencil crayons to this day and think of them whenever I see a pencil crayon.
Wally traveled the world for his work and he was so interesting to me because of it. He was also a part of why I was able to spend a month in Ireland when I was 13. This was such an amazing experience for this small town girl who graduated from a one room school.
Wally is a entrepreneur like me and I admire his wisdom and guidance.
John
My brother John and I were very close too. We shared a love of cheeseburgers for lunch on cold winter’s days and he would always give me all of his change. That was so exciting . He would save it up and then I would get it and count it out like it was gold. Of course there was a catch. I’d have to get him a cup of tea or coffee whenever he would rattle his cup on the table. lol But I didn’t mind I loved him and I love doing it!
In later years John and I became roommates as adults and that is a time I will always cherish. Wow. I just realized that last night I dreamt about that little basement apartment we shared! They had made all these great changes to the unit in my dream and I wanted to tell him about them. I often dream about that apartment.
If you know John, you know that he is the historian in the family. I don’t think any of us have met a person who can remember details and dates as well as he can. 🙂
Ed or Eddie Bear
Brother Ed and I are the closest in age in the all the siblings. He is next up to me. Because of that I remember being the one to rat him out on things to my parents.
Sorry Ed I regret that 🙂
Eddie or ‘Eddie Bear’ as we fondly called him is the one who reminds me most of my own childlike wonder for life. Eddie has this huge heart and is passionate about life and family. He is the one who feverishly worked at keeping the magic in my childhood for as long as possible, and for that I am forever grateful.
Ed is also the one who today, spends a lot of time with my own daughter and we fondly refer to him as “Silly Uncle Ed”. He is so much fun and has such a JOY for life and it shows.
I love all of my sisters and brothers dearly.
It was so nice today to do a tribute to my brothers. I love you all. I am grateful that it was all of you for your role as my big brothers and I truly wouldn’t change a thing.
Of course I am bawling my eyes out right now but this is good.
And thank you to all of my siblings for being in my life and just so you know my favorite story is always the one about when I was born and brought home. … about how Mom came on the bus to Kashabowie with me, and you walked me around the lake because it wasn’t thawed yet and we couldn’t walk on the lake or take a boat, and laid me on Mom’s bed when you brought me home. The little girl in me loves that story..
Some Pictures
Some pictures to enJOY! Unfortunately I don’t have many of Uncle John.
Brother Wally taking my own daughter fishing. My dream come true.. to have my little girl do this with her Uncle and to also play in the sand at the beach which was one of my driving factors in acquiring my cottage in 2011….. and thanks to Wally who said one magic phrase that helped me to take that action and do what it took to make that happen. We never know how one word or sentence can be so profound and life changing.Ed and I on his 50th birthday… when I was still the last Holbik sibling under 50 but not any more! 🙂
Wally and Eddie this September while we enJOYed our annual trout fishing weekend. Now I could write a whole blog post about this tradition and what it means to us at a deep level, but that is for another time. 🙂
Well I will close this chapter in memory lane for now and I hope that each and every one of you reading this takes the time to appreciate those that you love.
Even in my own life and upbringing times were not easy, but I choose to remember the things that bring a smile to my heart and I hope that you too can find that place inside yourself to cherish the moments that matter to you and to love the people who were just doing their best with what they knew … cause that is all of us my friends… we are all just walking each other home….
Here I am with my nephew many years ago sitting on Santa’s knee and of course when one sees an old picture, it makes one reflect on life and always on how fast it flies by.
I Remain Childlike
When I see this picture of myself and the twinkle in my eyes, I am reminded about how I am still very much childlike and I love that about me. I still get excited about life and all that it has to offer.
I was a little girl who rowed a boat to school and when I graduated the eighth grade there were only 7 pupils left in the entire school which was then a one room school. It did have two rooms until the population dwindled and then it was a one room and then closed permanently shortly thereafter.
I am grateful for all of my life to date. I have had many personal challenges along the way but I see them all as catalysts that moved me in the direction of where I wanted to go. I am also grateful that I decided a long time ago that my dreams were important and I have worked hard to make them happen… always with JOY though. I must add that. I really feel that it is important to have JOY and love what you are doing or there is no point.
And most of all, I look forward, with childlike wonder, to all that is yet to come in my creative tapestry of my life as I continue to co-create it with the divine intelligence available to all of us.
What About You?
At this holiday time or whenever you are reading this, I hope that you too declare JOY for yourself in your life and that you get excited about what is yet to come. As we all know, we are never promised tomorrow so we must make the best of whatever time we have left and the best way to do that is to decide in each moment and in each day to find things to do and experience that are JOYful to us.
Happy Day and Happy Holidays to all of my friends here.
Here I am at 53 years old and I have had many life’s experiences and I look forward to many more. Life has a way of softening you as you go along. Or maybe hardening for some but for me I feel softer. I sure am not the woman I was 10, 20 or even 30 years ago and I’m glad. 🙂
If I could write a note to my younger self, and I can, lol this is what I would say:
Dear Maggie
I remember when you were a younger version of yourself and although you lacked confidence throughout many times of your life, there were times when you thought you knew it all. It is interesting for me to see this as I now know how little you knew. 🙂
Some tips I could offer the younger version of you would be:
Be Kind. The world needs more kindness and compassion. Especially be kind to those who have been around in life longer than you have. They have had more time to experiences life’s up and downs. They have had more hurts, heartaches and loss and it wears on a person. These people need extra kindness and less animosity and judgment. Be kind.
Be Gentle. “A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles”. William Hazlitt Being gentle is a virtue worth living by. Gentleness is a form of love expressed that softens, that opens, and that shows compassion. Practice gentleness on a daily basis.
Let It Go. Let go of all of those ideals that do not serve you. Especially the need to be right and to know it all. Instead be open. Be inquisitive and be willing to listen, to really listen.
Don’t Personalize Things! If you really want a fast track to peace, don’t personalize anything. You have no idea what another person is going through, a stranger or kin. Just love them within your heart and mind. So many heartaches have come from people assuming things were said for a certain reason or intended to hurt you. Just let that stuff go. It matters not. Know in your heart that you are okay and that are made of love and will return to love. You have been the one hurt and you have hurt others. Let it all go and turn to Love. And remember when people hurt you, they need extra love. Anyone who is in that much pain that they would hurt others needs more love. You know you’ve been there. 🙂 Stop the madness now.
Forgive. Forgive often and forgive quickly. The sooner you forgive others and yourself the sooner you give the gift. The gift of for*give*ness. Give it often. “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you” Lewis B. Smedes … Free yourself sooner than later. 🙂
Be YOU. Don’t wait your entire lifetime to be YOU. Your job is to be you. You were born perfectly YOU for a reason. 🙂 YOU are the gift to the world. Let that gift be opened and shared with the world. Lead by example. Show the way for others and encourage them to be themselves and to wear their uniqueness like the jewel that it is.
Well dearest little one, I could say more but I think this is suffice for this blog post today. Go now and be that best version of YOU that you are learning to share with the world so freely. I hope others are inspired to be themselves and that they go throughout their day today in JOY and Love. Blessings to all…
MaggieHolbik.com 