cancer, Death & Dying, Happiness, happy, My Cancer Journey

On Happiness & The Regrets of The Dying & How I Have Learned To Choose Happy in Spite of It All…

Choosing thoughts has been something I have been teaching and practicing for many years. And now at this point in my life (my cancer journey), it has come into play even more so for me. If I don’t CHOOSE happy thoughts, I suffer A LOT! And I don’t like suffering!

One of my favorite books of all time and one that I refer to a lot is Bronnie Ware’s “The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying”.

There are 5 top regrets people have at the end of their life in general and the number 5 regret she learned from people dying is “I wish I had chosen to be happy”! Wow! I think that is my favorite of the 5. You can read more about all five here:

Not Easy But Gets Easier!

Now, I am not going to tell you that this is easy to do, but I can promise you that the more you do it, the easier it gets. This is probably why I am finding it quite easy in a situation that many people would find it very challenging in and rightly so! I have been ‘practicing’ this for awhile so it is easier for me because of that, but one can start at any time which is the good news!

NOW is all we have..

Choosing Happy means we let go of as much stuff as we can in our mental mind. An old memory? Tell yourself that it is the past and no longer exists but only in your mind and let it go. You need space for HAPPINESS NOW! NOW is all we have. Don’t let the old crap take up space and take away from now. Remember life is short….

Someone says something to you that you feel is hurtful or offensive? CHOOSE not to personalize it and let it go as fast as you can and move on. The faster we can do this, the more content we are. The longer we hang on to it and dwell on it, the more it grows and the more pain we feel.

Get Inspired to CHOOSE HAPPY!

I hope that you get inspired to ‘choose happy’ today and as much as you can. I know that for me, it is GAME ON! I want to squeeze as much JOY as I can out of my time left here on earth… and I hope that you do too!

Have a great day everyone!

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Death & Dying, dreams

Am I Dying?

I remember the day well. It was about 10 years ago and I was standing in my kitchen at my cottage in Northwestern Ontario…..

At that time it was my new cottage or camp as we call them in our neck of the woods. I had just recently acquired the camp and it was a life long dream come true. My biggest motivator was to have my own daughter, who was around 5 at the time, play in the sand and make sand castles just like I did growing up on a lake.

My daughter making sand castles on the beach.

I was also motivated to have a place in nature where I could write and be inspired.

My dining room at the cottage where I like to write.

Anyhow, on to my story……

I was standing in the kitchen and expressing my JOY to my nephew Byron and I shared how happy I was and that I felt that I had everything I ever wanted in life. I had a happy relationship with an amazing man, a great daughter, work that I loved, my home, and now my camp.

And I said something like this: “Sometimes I think I must be dying because I feel complete or that I have all that I ever wanted”. Byron quickly said to me a phrase I will never forget....

The life changing phrase….

He said this: “Aunty you want a red convertible”. 🙂 And I said “No, I don’t” and he said “Yes, you do!” And I said “NO I don’t!” And he said again “Yes You DO!”…. and then it hit me and I understood what he meant.

He meant don’t stop dreaming and don’t get ready to die. Keep dreaming and keep striving. I don’t think Bryon realized that day how powerful his words were and are to me to this day!

I have since had more dreams come true. In fact, I sit here typing this at my most treasured place of two years… my little lake house on the shores of Lake Superior which has been more than a dream come true!

My dreams are bigger now and grander but the best part is that now they are outside of myself.

I have been studying internet marketing for many years and all I can see are opportunities to amass wealth and abundance. But with that said, my dreams now are more to do with making positive changes in the world and showing people that they too can be dreamers and pursue their passions.

I am just starting to formulate the causes that I will assist with and I am open to the universe to show me where my resources will go to make the world a better place, all while I have JOY on the journey.

I hope that you too never stop dreaming and that your purpose on earth is something that you support and encourage so that your soul can flourish!

I send you all much love today and always and in all ways.

Maggie

P.S. Side note:

I just remembered that I have always had this vision of riding in a convertible on the coast of California or somewhere… okay the red convertible might make the list after all 🙂

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Death & Dying, Funerals, Maggie's Musings

Maggie’s Musings…. on Funerals

I’ve started a new category on my blog called “Maggie’s Musings”. These are posts where I just want to share gems that I take out of life’s situations and such.

So today I am going to touch a bit on funerals. I actually enJOY funerals for the lessons about life that they give us. I had a very moving experience today that reminded me of this.

While at the grocery store this morning, I bumped into a woman I had known in childhood. After chatting a bit she got very serious and said she wanted to share something with me. I was taken aback and surprised, all the while thinking what did she want to talk about… she seemed so serious.

She leaned in and told me that at my mother’s funeral, way back in 1993, she was really touched by the way my siblings and I had shared about our mother…. about how she wasn’t just our mother but how we talked about and shared about the person she was. In this moment typing this, I am having flash backs to my sister Stephanie’s speech at the funeral. I did one too. This childhood connection went on to share a personal story about how that moment impacted her life forever and it was very moving indeed. After she finished her story with all the details, we hugged and teared up. Our hug was heart to heart hug btw. If you don’t know what at heart to heart hug is, it is when you hug to the right side of the body ❤ to ❤ . 🙂

Anyhow I was once again reminded of those moments that often happen at a funeral that remind us of what is important in life and to the living.

I never leave a funeral without some glimmer of insight and a deeper appreciation of my own life as well as the reminder of how swift life can be. And of course those little funeral sandwiches…. if you know me, you know how I love those! 🙂 In fact, I’ve written about them before along with more musings on life and death. You can read that post here: https://maggieholbik.blog/category/death-dying/

I hope you are enJOYing your day and thanks for reading… Blessings to All!

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Death & Dying

Little Sandwiches & My Death

Yep. You read that title right!

I am writing this blog post more for me so I can remember something that moved me deeply yesterday, but hey if you are here and want to read along, feel free.

So here it is. Yesterday I was driving by a funeral home and saw the cars outside. It made me wonder because of the time of day if they were having a luncheon about that time. I started thinking about how I love little tea sandwiches. I always have. I can pass on the desserts but the little sandwiches I have a hard time saying No to :-).

My spouse also knows this and we have often talked about how there will be little sandwiches at my funeral. 🙂 I started to think about this and in one brief moment in time while pondering these little sandwiches, I had an epiphany!

Life will go on and it will happen quickly! I saw the people say goodbye to me, say some nice words, eat little sandwiches, sip on coffee and tea and enJOY some desserts and then hop in their cars and go back to work, to their homes, to their life. It will go on as it always does.

I may not be conveying what I feel here but that’s okay because I get it and I did mention this blog post was more for me to remember the moment from yesterday’s drive by the funeral home. 🙂

What do I take from this?

. life is short so make the moments matter and the moments count

. forgive quickly and often

. never begrudge a Monday, it is always one less that you will have

. look at everything and every experience as though it were both the first and last time you will feel that, experience that, or see that

. have gratitude for the simple things like a bed to sleep in, the smell of coffee, the sound of rain, the blue sky, the breath of your loved ones who are still walking beside you on earth because it reminds you that they are still here with you, the smile from a random stranger, the hot cup of tea, the good book, your warm socks, etc. etc. etc.

. chase and CHOOSE JOY like nobody’s business

. find pleasure and JOY everyday and as much as you can!

. eat the chocolate! (and the little sammies off course) 🙂

. appreciate each and everyday for the gift that it is, they are numbered and we all know it… it’s realizing it that matters most

. throw FEAR out the window and tell it you never want to see it again! Live fearlessly and in JOY!

. be as much YOU as you can! Authentic, Real, Raw in all your imperfection which is perfect!

. be FREE…………….

Maggie Holbik.com is lover of life who believes that death can teach us a lot about life and that the circle of life is precious and sacred and is denied to many… she is passionate about helping people to find the JOY in their life and to see the beauty all around that is waiting for eyes to witness it and hearts to appreciate it.