Today I write about being more present in life and with the people in life. This is day 3 of the writing challenge for me, and this topic is perfect because it is definitely something that I am working on in my life.
The first thought that comes to mind around this is the thought around holding space and this topic has recently been coming up for me.
Holding space to me is the ultimate form of being present. When I hold space for someone, I am honoring them, respecting them, and loving them. I think the ultimate form of love is like holding space which to me means being there fully for another human being, in non-judgment, and full-on out supporting them in what they need at that particular moment in time.
I think the best explanation that I have ever read about holding space comes from my friend Heather Plett. Heather now has a book out about holding space but her original post on it is here.
I am sure you will find it to be a wonderful read. It is something that I go-to again and again.
The other thought that comes to mind around being present is listening. This is for sure something that I need to get better at. I love to talk but the true gift lies in listening. Listening to someone and just being present is a huge deal.
Lately I have been reflecting on how if feels when one is not heard. This brings to mind a vulnerable experience I had the other day and I will humbly share it here. It was very frustrating for me and now I realize part of it was that I wasn’t being heard and the struggle to communicate was real.
My Vulnerable Moment
I was taking my daughter and granddaughter through the drive through for Taco Tuesday as we headed out of town to spend some time at the lake. I was trying to keep track of what everyone wanted ex. 2 soft tacos no tomatoes, 2 soft regular, 1 soft with sour cream, etc. When we got to the speaker/order area there was a loud truck behind us and the girl could not hear what I was saying and the conversation went from bad to worse. The worst part was that I ended up getting so confused that by the time she told us to just drive up to the window to order, I couldn’t remember the order!
In my stress and frustration of not being heard I couldn’t even think straight. Guess what I did? I just started crying. I couldn’t stop myself. I looked at my daugther and just cried and and said “I can’t remember please help me”.
Now the staff member was very good about it all and I could tell she held space for me to just get through the experience. I think the kids were a bit shaken by it all, but all in all I think it was a gift for them to see my humanness.
On another, note, I am really getting more compassionate about things like the topic of forgetting. For example, I might forget someone on a guest list or forget how to spell something. Please forgive me. I don’t do it on purpose. So now I have much more compassion for others. Before you judge someone for whatever, please keep in mind that they may be struggling or stressed or whatever is going on with them.
So back to holding space and listening…. truly listening to another human being without judgement or interjections is the ultimate gift of grace that can be exchanged between two people.
Listening and looking intently into the eyes, and ultimately the soul of another, is divine.
I for one work at getting better at both holding space, being present and truly listening. And please if you are in my life and witness me forgetting to do this, please remind me. 🙂
Love to all,